can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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