your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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