I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
