Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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