You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
