PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
