Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
