Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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