check it out our google latitudes are spooning
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
