Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
