my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
she smelled like a LAN party
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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