he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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