He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
