too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
