Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
