Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
