no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
