Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
‪So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?‬
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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