So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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