That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
