Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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