I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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