no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
