he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
