I have demons in me.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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