3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
