thus making me awesome and them whores
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
