Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
