grandma shit on top of the toilet
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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