worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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