how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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