I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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