Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
