I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
im six kinds of drunk right now
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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