if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
