hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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