Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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