my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
