I cockslap morals
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
