i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
