lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
