And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He shit in the fireplace
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
