Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
