the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
