remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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