So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
