i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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