I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
