we have officially lost it.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
