just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
