spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
