It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
